What Is Newspeak For Emergency Political Slush Fund?

The dear leader was asked today, given the recent announcements of massive layoffs, the softwood lumber deal was killing the Canadian industry. Perish the thought was his reply:

"No. It's quite the opposite. This is really due to two things. It's due to the softening of the lumber market in the United States which is one of the reasons we had to get the softwood lumber deal signed otherwise things were going to get a lot worse a lot more quickly. There are also some long-term trends in the forest industry that are troubled. There are challenges in the industry particularly on the pulp-and-paper side and we said all along the softwood lumber deal is necessary to provide stability for our industry in the future but it's not sufficient. The government will be coming forward with additional measures to help the industry."

Two things occur. First, how wise and prescient our beloved Prime Minister was to sign a deal that puts our forest industry at such a disadvantage when the price of lumber goes down, just as the price of lumber is going down (although how such a deal is the opposite of doing badly by our lumber producers is beyond this poor wretch). Second, how generous this prince of a man is, that he is willing to go out now and hand out cash to the surely grateful peasants, as his bounty flows like wine. I seem to remember it was only but a few short weeks ago that the angry lord of the domain was telling his vassals to go screw themselves. No that can't be. It must be some sort of Liberal trickery. Our magnificient king would not use the public treasury to cover for his own knavery. Perish the thought.

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