The More The Merrier

As we embark on yet another pointless exercise in electoral fraud, I want to get something off my chest. I want Elizabeth May included in the debates. Why? Because the more parties involved in this farce, the greater likelihood we will get a "majority" government with a ridiculously low percentage of the popular vote.

I want those Liberals who helped destroy Ontario's chance at getting PR and by so doing pushed the issue off the national radar, to squeal with pain should Harper win a majority with 34% of the vote. Because, make no mistake, if Harper does pull it off, he will run with it. He will rape this country. Then I want to hear the folks at the Star and the Liberal blogosphere talk about how we need the kind of stable government that only FPTP can deliver. Yes I am sure they will be quite effusive in their praise for a system that delivers a phony majority to Psycho Steve.

Now, it may not happen. Harper may let his mask slip long enough for the voters to see the pure evil inside. Dion may be an electoral genius. Layton may yet get his dream and toss the Liberals into the trash heap of history. But none of these things is likely. With four and five way splits inherent in our beloved voting system, anything can and will happen. So, bring on the clowns. Start the music. Let the games begin.

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Dating Tips For Steve

After you have dated someone for a long time (and you and Dion have been going out for over a year), it is totally bad form to dump the relationship via a phone call. This is something you have to do face to face. If your partner keeps putting off the inevitable, you can start a rumour about them being a total skank, but you have to wait to see them face to face to give them the boot. Dumping a long-term steady by phone is considered very rude and if other potential partners hear you did that, you will never get laid again. And face it Steve, aside from Jack and Gilles, no one is beating a path to your door (and they are only coming to see you out of self interest. They don't really love you). I say these things because I care and because I was an adolescent twit once myself.

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Isn't This Exactly Why The Tories Wanted An Election Date Law?

The Tories, when in opposition, bitched constantly about how the Liberals used the timing of elections as a weapon with which to screw them when they were least prepared to fight back. Now that they are in power and despite the fact that they pushed a fixed election date law on Canadians, the Tories have suddenly discovered the efficacy of screwing the opposition when it is down.

The Tory insider said that Mr. Harper and his strategists looked at the landscape – the economy possibly getting worse and Mr. Dion possibly getting better over the next few months – and decided that they had to go to the polls this fall.

“All those factors outweighed the grief they were going to take for breaking their own legislation,” the insider said. “If you let the by-elections take place and you do super well in the by-elections, then it looks like you are an opportunist. If you don't do so well as people expect in the by-elections, you look like the momentum has gone.

“And if you're determined to go … it looks like this is what you do.”

The arrogance of this whole power play is just breathtaking. The chief justification for passing the election date law was to precisely end this kind of governmental advantage. Now, whether we needed this kind of law at all, is a side issue. However, the fact that the very party and government that pushed for this law in the first place is so willing to toss it overboard at the first opportunity, should give all voters pause. This Tory Party will do anything for power. Anything.

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Stephen Harper, Man Of Certainty

From today's Globe:

“Love him or hate him, our Prime Minister knows where he stands on the issues and will offer Canadians certainty,” a senior Tory official said.

Certainty? Ya, like when the election is going to be? Or perhaps the certainty that he will make promises he has no intention of keeping (income trusts anyone?)? Yes, the man fills me with certainty.

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Hey, Air Canada Must Be Using Conservative Lawyers

Apparently, it is legal for Canadian airlines to fly people over water without life vests as long as they stay within 50 miles of a shoreline. Who knew? You just got to love an airline that follows the letter of the law in order to save a few bucks on fuel costs. Remember if you are boarding a Jazz flight with your children, teach them to swim 50 miles first.

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The New Commercial

I finally saw the pre-writ commercial by the Tories. It is pretty slick and contains scads of women (gee I wonder if their polling is telling them that Steve is striking out with the ladies?) singing the praises of the Dear Leader. It was all going so well, until the final frame, whence they show a picture of Steve, in obvious pain, from the guy off camera poking him with a sharp stick, smiling his death's head smile. It was a pretty grim sight. All that was missing was the caption "Stephen Harper. He hardly ever eats human flesh anymore!"

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Jeebus

You know you have a political problem when the Bush Administration has a stronger position on poisoning its own people than you do and you are caught trying to persuade them to your point of view. Can you see the print ads now? A dual picture of George Bush and Stephen Harper, with the caption "Guess which leader has a stronger position on food safety? Hint: He doesn't own a ranch in Texas."

Update: For those of you who have doubts, it looks like many people in Ontario are able to make the connection between poisoned meat and poisoned water.

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